My anxiety has been a challenge to manage. It can impact my confidence, especially when I am caught off guard.
I was co-ordinating a leadership course with a contracted practitioner who would not take responsibility for leading it. There was a lack of clarity about the form of what was to be delivered that made me feel very uneasy. A lack of boundaries and possibilities. There was a focus on lack and not purpose.
I requested written clarity, suggested that we might put things in writing with signatures, however the request was not honoured.
After three sessions of six the facilitator left, unwell, and I felt remorse for her suffering. COVID hit and the sense of completion suspended. Thankfully someone stepped in to honour the contract and all was well.
I had asked a colleague to assist with the course. She sensed my insecurity and observed my inability to make a decision and take control of the situation. What she said to me is still with me –
“Whatever you do- do it with intention!” She observed- then said
“Be more intentional”.
Then continued to facilitate.
Be more intentional. This insight was a gift.
To live with intention. That is make a commitment to myself to work with an aim, a goal, a purpose. Not to be confused with intension. The word intension is related to linguistics, refers to the meaning of words and the written form.
Another friend sent me an image created by Shiloh Sophia McCloud. I looked her up. McCloud talks about the four layers of intentional creativity. This concept resonated with me.
That when we create we consider what it means to create with intention. In that process you bring thoughts for what you want to see in the world, what you want to change, build and bring to fruition.
- What is the intention of the physical form you are creating? You are making something tangible that will be used. As you make it think about it’s purpose.
2. Who will receive what you are making? As you create, imagine who will receive this form and how they will use it. What do you wish for the person who will receive it?
3. In what way does this process of creation then serve you, that is how are you changed by this act of making? When the process is complete in what way have you been transformed?
4. The fourth layer of creative intention is about what is offered to the collective, to everyone. In what way does this creative intention serve the greater good?
Shiloh Sophia McCloud refers to the role of the Talisman- when you make something sacred with your thoughts.
In this way the creative process becomes a spiritual act and a wish. A wish that ripples out from the form and function of what you are making, from the self to the other and beyond to the intention for what we want for our communities.
As 2020 closes on the cusp of 2021- I start to reflect on the year gone, the one to be, and I seek to be more intentional in my thoughts, in my actions, in my words.