Before, Present, After

Looking back, selfless woman

Looking forwards aspiration 

I’m there now – 54 – the present 

Truth

This is my 54th birthday wish 

I regret nothing

This is a sensational year

Life is up to me

Author of my story

The ‘self’ as the enabler

I am the creator

Master of my life

My 54 self knows my holistic purpose

I’m here to make the world a little better

To have a positive impact

I start new traditions

I celebrate the simple things

Like my freedom, strength and growing confidence

I revel in long group calls with family & friends; beautiful flowers, sushi and prosecco

I open towards what’s in front of me

And I make it count

This is it

The balance beam of a circus act of sorts

Juggling MUSTS, WANTS, DISAPPOINTMENTS

Doctor’s appointments

And lists, lots of lists

Tick 

Tick 

Tick 

I know Pain

It’s embodied in my DNA – a privilege

Scars pattern my body, map where I have been

Remind me that I have lived and that I am alive

I take more time for myself

Only to find the umbilical chord pulling me back

Duty calls- “Mother!”

And now I am a Grandmother X two

I am part of this cycle 

I am the cycle

I made it happen and it happened to me

It is beyond my control

Impermanence, imperfection, fragility

I am human after all

The insecurity met with spirited drive

I surprise myself with capability

I’m not sure where it comes from

Perhaps it was always there in my shadow of a doubt

Driven by a peaceful, loving, harmonious energy of serenity and calm.

I welcome Challenge

I grow into myself again

Shedding layers of doubt

Once Upon A time I was a Goddess, lusted upon and trusted, thrust upon, I reveled in my sex, the queen of his domain

He married me – I married him – we procreated 

Procrastinated – we’re all guilty of that!

The vine withers, wine tastes bitter, I work for something better

I labour on what is

It changes

It’s different

I change, we all change

I try on new relationships, old worn thin

I mend

I let go

I forgive

Forgiveness means that I can move on with love for myself

I follow my heart my instincts and learn new moves

I perform 

My body is my art more than my sex, it goes to new places, I feel new things more deeply

I start new traditions

I prepare to leave a legacy for my children, their children

They need to know where they came from 

I teach them my successes, failures, challenges & disappointments

I give them HappinessFun

They show empathy, compassion, culture & creativity

They call me twice a week to chat

Fond memories of travel, more travels to come

I live in a beautiful world that is peaceful and kind

My place is here

Emotional scars fade

Financial difficulties in hand

Loneliness cured 

Practicing how to be comfortable with myself

Emancipation defined by clarity, confidence, calm 

I continue to learn

When I love what is

When I love

I feel it coming back to me

 I am love.

This poem was made possible by the contributions of the Ascolta Women-with thanks.

One thought on “Colleagues, Remembering & Manifesting the age of 54

  1. What a beautiful and deep poem Maria 💜
    I obviously missed your birthday! Hope it was a wonderful one and that this year fills you with joy!
    xxx
    PS I’ll catch up with you when I’m back in Melbourne later this week & we’ll arrange a time for coffee. X

    Like

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